Finger nails scrape a dirty ridge
On rusty sides of an iron bridge
Thick blood pours down two shaky hands
As he makes his way to the hinterlands
A pair of filthy, calloused feet
Walk where wind and water meet
Twixt muddy hill and bleaker dale
An exile from the golden vale
Abandon all for faintest gleam
all but forgotten childhood dream
No path but east for him to go
Numb feet make prints in frozen snow
Familiar voices call "retreat"
While he wraps his victory in defeat
And packs the snow about his wounds 
His cuts are sealed with ice and doom
He'll watch the whole of nature die
Theres too much grieving left to cry
He wipes his brow and stops to say
"The old things have all passed away"
So old tools gather dust today
And a grand house falls into decay
No one left would understand
he must climb to the hinterland
He passed a field in silence cloaked
No bird had sang, no frog had croaked
In solemn staring all stood still
In disbelief at brazen will
Then through a wood of dusk and pine
The man lay pondering lifes decline
And broken so by wood so fey
He did not sleep till light of day
Before the bridge of rusting beams
Flows back and forth a babbling stream
A beast there stalks weak men for prey
Ambush by night, asleep by day
His crude old axe, the man holds high
Enrobed in red, the beast has died
Thick blood pours down two shaky hands
As he makes his way to the hinterlands

Most people hate unknowns.  I don’t mean surprises. A surprise is when something unexpected happens. An unknown is a constant, not an event.  very few enjoy NOT knowing what they’ll do after college. Almost no one loves having no idea where their next meal will come from. Knowledge is power. People love power.

But I like unknowns. I like them because knowns are meaningless without them. Without unknowns there can never be anything more. If you know exactly what you will eat every meal for the rest of your life and what it will taste like, food will become boring very quickly. It would not excite you or fill you with joy for very long.

The one thing people do like about unknowns is hope. If they are able, people will dream and plan and relish the faintest gleam of a better future. But this joy is tempered by doubt and fear as they know their hope can go unfulfilled or smack them in the face. Most are also forced to remember the pain of hopes and dreams that have already spoiled into despair and grief.

The same does not hold true for me. I exist in a constant state of hope. With how God has dealt with me over the years in personal contact and affirmation, consistent blessing, and a multitude of prophecies, I have a bizarre and complete confidence that my life will be blessed and work out exactly how it is supposed to. I literally cannot doubt it.  Zechariah 9:12 says “Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double.” This is what I am, a prisoner of hope. Even when hopelessness gnaws at me because of my surroundings I am unable to give in to it. At best (or worst) I will fall between the two, dragged along by hope while my face is dirtied with the taunts of what I know to be a false sense of selfish hopelessness.

So I look forward to the Hinterlands. Because the unknown has always held better for me than the known has. Because whatever is ahead, it’s good, and I’m excited. This in turn has it’s downside as it can be very hard to be content with where I am at currently.

Currently this dichotomy looks like me reevaluating what I want for my future, split between staying a safe course I feel like I don’t belong on but have been blessed in, or abandoning it for the unknown of a long lost dream. Warily I go forward.

Now I know what your’e thinking. “This is all well and good for you, but why should I care?”  There are two very good reasons. The first is simply this: If you have your hope in Jesus, his death on the cross, and resurrection on your behalf, than you too can have this hope I have. Sure, it may not seem as supernaturally confirmed. It may not be that you have as much surety of hope for the practical aspects of your life. But no matter what, the hope of Christ is one that surpasses any troubles you have now, and it’s one that can be counted on. Secondly, with this in mind, be content with unknowns. If you can recognize a propensity towards fear and doubt, you can let it go. In all reality, everything past right now is unknown. So live where you are. Live with the knowledge you have and live well for the gospel. If your mind is on a potential future, whether beautiful or horrible, you’re going to miss the beauty to be cherished and the pain to be cared for all around you.

With Cacoethes Scribendi,

The Indefinable Emotion


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