The freedom of lunacy
Sometimes ashes stir into a fire
Sometimes fools discover faint desire
Sometimes callings come in heavens's light
Sometimes they're more like thieves at night
But when callings come they flare
They beg, they plead, they drive, they dare
For lunacy is sanity, when lunacy is true
our sanity is comfort, the world's idyllic you
But to the world our hope is folly
and greatest grace a trick
For when calling's come a calling
It's comfort that they prick
So call this crazy if you will
Call it mad, deranged, insane
I'll take all of your labels
I'll embrace all of your names
But I can't pander to your worries
I can't live a life that's tame
For there's a freedom in lunacy
and the freedom is this:
When the call of God finds you
The calling persists
What the world desires is knowledge
of the most important kind
of who we are and can be
and of the author of design
But when they find it most will run
Back to comfort back to home
To leave behind what could be
To leave beind what they could know
For the path of Christ is difficult
Fullof sacrifice and harm
He offers you his peace
Then puts his cross into your arms
and lunacy births collision
When earth and heaven meet
For he called me to the water
and I offered him my feet
I know this journey might bring danger
in struggle and in strife
I may fall into pain in this season of life
I may hunger or thirst
I may grow weary or worse
Be beaten or mugger,
be kidnaped or drugged
By beast or man harmed
By disease be disarmed
By worry be shaken
With doubts become take
With toil and derision
soon resent my decision
But God's lunacy has me
and for that lunacy's sake
With God I go forward
with every step that I take
For the callings are stirring,
and God's callings aren't trite
For the fields are now white
and the harvest is ripe
Ever since I can remember I have had a desperate tug at the back of my soul. A tug begging for great deeds and desperate measures. Now many of you will say “of course, everyone wants to be heroic and famous.” Yet I think it is something else I find in myself, (though I do not deny the universality of such a feeling in different degrees). It is a desire I think, to be able to mock fear, and be filled with the passion of doing something worth doing. It is like the feeling one has when they are up high to jump off suddenly, and leave all of ones companions almost in awe at the fact. In the desire for that jump you do not desire death or pain, simply the thrill of the fall, knowing even its dangers could not keep you back. It is a desire to be seen as ludicrous for daring to do what no one else does, and what most cannot do.
Such a lifestyle I think has been set upon me by God, and is called for in others. The callings of Christ always were a sort of insanity, driving men to deeds of beauty and love, before unknown. We are called to run after our master with reckless abandon, forsaking the pleasures of this earth, and serving only the Lord, even unto death.
But instead, most of the Christian world is wrapped deep in the blanket of comforting pleasure, barely daring to peak its head out of the covers for fear of the cold. We are just as sensual and selfish in fulfilling our desires, and we make little feeble attempt to stem the tide of dissipations which consume our time, money, minds, and love. The direct idolatry of these things is a subject for another time, but for now we will focus on the fact that this weak fealty to worldly treasures weakens our ability to live bravely and courageously. slowly our pleasure draws us away from the callings of God (as uncomfortable as they are) and eventually we stop hearing the callings at all.
If we are still among the lucky few to hear the callings,and our comforts have not yet drowned it out completely, we are usually to afraid to act on them.
I have been from a very early age a scared person. Indeed I have counted it as one of my chief weaknesses for a long time. I knew countless nights of terror as a young child and I have known many social and spiritual failings due to it as a young adult.
Yet consistently the only fix i have heard for the malady is to simply act in spite of fear. Honestly i’m just sick of it. Do you know who I hear this fix from? People who aren’t afraid! Do you ever hear people giving the same advice for other sins? Not usually. I personally have never heard, “Oh I have a drinking problem, can you help me?”, with the other person replying, “Well have you tried stopping?”. Neither have I witnessed this conversation: “I am really struggling with pride, what do you suggest?” The other person matter of factly states “Well the main thing is to be humble.”
So why is this illogical conversation so prevalent in the realm of dealing with fear!
Now fear is still something I am working through in my life but here are a few things I have found to ACTUALLY help:
Firstly, when you feel afraid, pray. Prayer sets your mind on the power higher than yourself and the protection of christ. Specifically rebuke the spirit of fear in the name of christ, if that is what is afflicting you and your faith is in Christ, you will gain victory over it.
Second, set your mind on the truth. Fear is at its essence, a lie. If you are walking down an alley and your afraid of the dark and getting mugged, remind yourself that God is your protection, and that the worst thing that could happen is you die, and then go to heaven. Death is one of our greatest fears but it’s actually logically not something christians need to fear. We have our hope in an eternity with Christ.
Lastly, You may not be able to deal with fear till another spirit or sin is broken off of your life. For me, I found absolutely no victory over fear until I dealt with the spirit of shame. It was as if the spirits were linked, shame keeping fear from any harm. But once shame left, I found that as I tested the things I was afraid of again, fear dissipated in front of me, as if it had been an illusory mist.
Working through fear and and walking out of a comfortable existence to do it sucks. Plainly it is awful, and most people do not care enough. But pray that God gives you the strength to fight. No real life of victory can be lived spiritually until these issues are taken care of. It is worth the fight.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
-2 Timothy 1:7
With Cacoethes Scribendi,
The Indefinable Emotion